My Lil Hater dance chorus verse

Read this and tell me how I did.


"Shampoo!
Uh-huh this Lil D goin in
This one for all my Haters
HA! Now take this cuz i'm hatin on youuuuuuuuuuu!
Don't compliment me this is what I do
Surprise jump ya like pika-Boo
If you come to the club don't bother lookin cuz i'm easier to find than Scooby Doo
Oh judge please pardon me even though I shit on you
Just like before but i'ma say it again SHAMPOO!
If i'm fresher den ya watch watch me Doe
Tell ya frind its time to go
Now watch me crank my Lil reverse Doe
Stop hatin and watch me pose like you just drove up a pole
Don't you feel my Lil flow."


This is just my first draft of it, I do think it needs a little work though. Please tell me what I can improve on, but I do have a good flow if you can feel it. If you can't feel it try reading it again but this time fast. If you think you can make a better lyrics to my dance post your idea here.

Lil For Admin 2011-2012

Needs some spellcheck, and im kinda white / gay / metalhead...so I don't know much about rap...but 4/5

Can you actually SING it (click) so we get an idea of the rhythm? No-one's meant to know if it's any good or not until you start actually rapping the words!

Also, the lyrics make no sense. AT ALL.

Thx

Lil For Admin 2011-2012

Yeah you should rap and put it on vocaroo or youtube

I just let my flow do the work for me, so the lyrics are second in my opinion. I might make a video and put it on youtube. That is if my camera starts working again.


Lil For Admin 2011-2012

作者： Deray YG, 17.10.2011 at 19:38

I just let my flow do the work for me, so the lyrics are second in my opinion. I might make a video and put it on youtube. That is if my camera starts working again.


Young G We Da Best

Lil ghetto camera aint working? sadface.jpg

I think it's utter shit. Best regards.

I thought i COULD DO BETTER thats y I need advice for for a new version of it.



Lil For Admin 2011-2012

Shampooo!
It's early in the mornin' and I'm hustlin' in the shower,
Getting my body ready for the bower,
Will be invadin' bedrooms like the US sovereign countries,
Once I smell like fresh little trees,

Because of my
Shampooo!

Momy always told me to not use too much of it,
Said: "it's bad for your skin, you little dimwit!",
But I could never resist and hit the bottle hard,
rubbed the lube over my body like a retard,

Because I love my
Shampooo!


- There, I improved it for you!

Champoo,

you know i sell it on the streets,
when the people passin by im like, you gots to try this sheeeeeet,
it'll make your hair so shiny,
it'll make your hair so soft.
and that other shit they sellin might just make your hair fall off.
CHAMPOOOOO

you know i sell it by the case,
you got to use every drop,
dont let none go to wase.

CHAMPOOOO

it got premium ingredients,
including some sticky white stuff, and some freshly plucked mint.
and if you feelin up to it, you can take my champoo, gurgle with it rinse and spit.

or swallow, if that's more your style, you know im pitchin my champoo to any girl wid a nice smile

CHampooo

word.

Hahaha, well done Sony!

作者： the99percent, 19.10.2011 at 11:28

Champoo,

you know i sell it on the streets,
when the people passin by im like, you gots to try this sheeeeeet,
it'll make your hair so shiny,
it'll make your hair so soft.
and that other shit they sellin might just make your hair fall off.
CHAMPOOOOO

you know i sell it by the case,
you got to use every drop,
dont let none go to wase.

CHAMPOOOO

it got premium ingredients,
including some sticky white stuff, and some freshly plucked mint.
and if you feelin up to it, you can take my champoo, gurgle with it rinse and spit.

or swallow, if that's more your style, you know im pitchin my champoo to any girl wid a nice smile

CHampooo

word.

Yeah I liked sony's a little better that shit went a lil hard


Lil For Admin 2011- 2012

how many beds has LilD flipped since 2011 ?

Shampoo
All you haters gona hate before i wash my poo
My dick is so dirty
Gettin real flirty
Wash me and scrub me
Comon girl just love me
Apoo
go harder than lil dicky
loving that fresh minty
Suds in a jiffy
Niggas cant be me
Chorus:
Got me a scruber put on the rubby goooey sticky poo
Gonna get sudsy all white and fluffy
Playin with shampoo
Girl you so nasty
Sudsy and happy playing with my lube