[SHORT STORY] How fat noob Mauzer became pro?

Thanks to Eagle, his clanmate, who went into depression because they've lost a season to Illyria, due to Mauzer's bad cws. Or better say full noob cws where Mauzer would be dead already in 3rd turn. Whatsmore, Mauzer very often knew to fail his enemy capital and attack his clanmates.

Eagle was thinking and thinking what to do, like a professor Baltazar and finally he got the idea.
Since Mauzer is fat as hell, heavy as a truck and likes to eat shit, Eagle tried his proggramming skills.

Somehow he managed to break into Mauzer's account and replaced standard capital city icons with another icons which would show his fatass clanmate where to go, which capital to conquer. So, each CW, Eagle is replacing his clanmate capitals with vegetables and his enemy's capitals with yummy food that Mauzer likes the most.

Since then, every CW is won not by whole Mortal Kombat, but by Mauzer himself. He manage to triple kill his enemies, just because his greedy gizzard wants yummy food now and immediately.

Good friend Eagle has shown him the way....... And good luck to our fattest community member in further CWs ♥
The next season is in MK's hands!!!

作者： Oleg, 25.11.2017 at 16:32

Someone is obsessed with Mauzer....

How not to be obsessed with this cutie?

Lol..poor mauz

I appreciate the humor. but why all balkanists feel need to make fun of him?

作者： Rock Lee, 25.11.2017 at 17:01

but why all balkanists feel need to make fun of him?

"Da bog da komšiji crkne krava, da nam svima prazna štala."
"Pray to god for death of neigbour's cow, so that we all have empty stables"
That's balkan logic.

作者： Oleg, 25.11.2017 at 17:09

作者： Rock Lee, 25.11.2017 at 17:01

but why all balkanists feel need to make fun of him?

"Da bog da komšiji crkne krava, da nam svima prazna štala."
"Pray to god for death of neigbour's cow, so that we all have empty stables"
That's balkan logic.

E, pa dabogda mu crkla ta jedna smrdljiva krava.
Koji će mu kurac?

Neka neka dobra, ali baš dobra krava prosječno da 25-30L mlijeka dnevno. Recimo da je prosjek 27L.
On ima samo jednu kravu, dakle, mjesečno će izmusti oko 810L (27x30), i to u idealnim uvjetima. Neka je litra domaćeg mlijeka 1€, također u idealnim uvjetima za proizvođača).
Ako nastavimo s idealnim uvjetima, prodati će, trgovinama ili individualno, svih svojih 810L mlijeka po cijeni od 1€ i zaraditi 810€.
Ponavljam, u idealnim (čitaj: nerealnim uvjerima).

U stvarnim uvjetima, krava će mu dati 20 litara mlijeka dnevno. Dakle, mjesečno će izmusti 600L mlijeka. Država mu neće dati poticaje i biti će prisiljen prodavati svoje mlijeko pošto-poto. Cijena će se kretati između 0.7 i 0.9€.
Kao srednju vrijednost uzet ćemo cijenu od 0.8€. Budući da trgovine, marketi, centri kupuju na veliko, cijena njegovog domaćeg mlijeka im neće biti isplativa, već će uvoziti mlijeko po 3 kn od stranog dobavljača u enormnim količinama, što će se trgovinama dugoročno isplatiti. Na kraju će se dogoditi to da će tek dio ukupnih 600L prodati malim trgovinama i individualno, prema mojim procjenama to bi bilo oko 500L.

Dakle, mjesečno će od te krave zaraditi 400€.
Do tada je već potrošio svoje vrijeme, a i novac na hranu (osim trave) i čišćenje, nek' je to 100€.
Dakle, od te krave ima crno na bijelo zarade - 300€.

S tih 300€ ne može platit ni poštenu kurvu, ako nije neka matorka od 75 godina s pičkom zaraslom dlakama koje moraš palit brenerom da ga uvališ bar na minutu, a ona ti izdahne od šoka nakon prvog snošaja.

Kriv si za smrt starice, ideš u zatvor osuđen za ubojstvo iz nehaja, kao olakotnu okolnost uzet će ti prethodno nekažnjavanje, dvije godine ćeš provest iza rešetaka, dok se vratiš doma, krava ti crkla od gladi.


Tako da mislim da je bolje da molim da mu crkne ta sugava krava, nek ide radit na baustelu ko i svako normalan. A u štali će se lokat i pušit, a ne must kravlja sisica...





PS. SORRY FOR TALKING ON CROATIAN, THIS IS JUST FOR PAVLE, SOME INTERN STORY..

作者： Croat, 25.11.2017 at 18:00

作者： Oleg, 25.11.2017 at 17:09

作者： Rock Lee, 25.11.2017 at 17:01

but why all balkanists feel need to make fun of him?

"Da bog da komšiji crkne krava, da nam svima prazna štala."
"Pray to god for death of neigbour's cow, so that we all have empty stables"
That's balkan logic.

E, pa dabogda mu crkla ta jedna smrdljiva krava.
Koji će mu kurac?

Neka neka dobra, ali baš dobra krava prosječno da 25-30L mlijeka dnevno. Recimo da je prosjek 27L.
On ima samo jednu kravu, dakle, mjesečno će izmusti oko 810L (27x30), i to u idealnim uvjetima. Neka je litra domaćeg mlijeka 1€, također u idealnim uvjetima za proizvođača).
Ako nastavimo s idealnim uvjetima, prodati će, trgovinama ili individualno, svih svojih 810L mlijeka po cijeni od 1€ i zaraditi 810€.
Ponavljam, u idealnim (čitaj: nerealnim uvjerima).

U stvarnim uvjetima, krava će mu dati 20 litara mlijeka dnevno. Dakle, mjesečno će izmusti 600L mlijeka. Država mu neće dati poticaje i biti će prisiljen prodavati svoje mlijeko pošto-poto. Cijena će se kretati između 0.7 i 0.9€.
Kao srednju vrijednost uzet ćemo cijenu od 0.8€. Budući da trgovine, marketi, centri kupuju na veliko, cijena njegovog domaćeg mlijeka im neće biti isplativa, već će uvoziti mlijeko po 3 kn od stranog dobavljača u enormnim količinama, što će se trgovinama dugoročno isplatiti. Na kraju će se dogoditi to da će tek dio ukupnih 600L prodati malim trgovinama i individualno, prema mojim procjenama to bi bilo oko 500L.

Dakle, mjesečno će od te krave zaraditi 400€.
Do tada je već potrošio svoje vrijeme, a i novac na hranu (osim trave) i čišćenje, nek' je to 100€.
Dakle, od te krave ima crno na bijelo zarade - 300€.

S tih 300€ ne može platit ni poštenu kurvu, ako nije neka matorka od 75 godina s pičkom zaraslom dlakama koje moraš palit brenerom da ga uvališ bar na minutu, a ona ti izdahne od šoka nakon prvog snošaja.

Kriv si za smrt starice, ideš u zatvor osuđen za ubojstvo iz nehaja, kao olakotnu okolnost uzet će ti prethodno nekažnjavanje, dvije godine ćeš provest iza rešetaka, dok se vratiš doma, krava ti crkla od gladi.


Tako da mislim da je bolje da molim da mu crkne ta sugava krava, nek ide radit na baustelu ko i svako normalan. A u štali će se lokat i pušit, a ne must kravlja sisica...





PS. SORRY FOR TALKING ON CROATIAN, THIS IS JUST FOR PAVLE, SOME INTERN STORY..

XAAXAXAXAXXAAXXAAXAXAXAXAXAX
A šta ako je komšija imao 50 krava?

PS. Sorry for talking on Serbian, this is just for Croat, some intern story...

Go to your country's forum and speak.
Saying you're sorry doesn't help.

Ojdlkmwefijfeiodffjieoreirer serem ti se niz grlo

PS. SORRY FOR TALKING ON CROATIAN, THIS IS JUST FOR PAVLE AND CROAT, SOME INTERN STORY....

作者： Cold Case, 25.11.2017 at 18:36

Go to your country's forum and speak.
Saying you're sorry doesn't help.

Me speak English bad, me need to speak on serbian... Sry
P.S Croat's post is actually interesting, translate it on google (it will prolly be bad translated )

作者： Waffel, 25.11.2017 at 18:41

Ojdlkmwefijfeiodffjieoreirer serem ti se niz grlo

PS. SORRY FOR TALKING ON CROATIAN, THIS IS JUST FOR PAVLE AND CROAT, SOME INTERN STORY....

Serbian*

作者： Oleg, 25.11.2017 at 18:43

Well, that's a stinky cow.
What's his dick?

Let it be good, but just fine cows average 25-30L milk a day. Let's say average 27L.
He has only one cow, so he will lose about 810L (27x30) a month, in ideal conditions. Let's have a liter of domestic milk € 1, also in ideal conditions for the manufacturer).
If we continue with the ideal conditions, we will sell, in stores or individually, all of its 810L milk at a price of 1 € and earn 810 €.
I repeat, in an ideal (read: unrealistic persuasions).

In real terms, the cow will give him 20 liters of milk a day. So, he will monthly 600L of milk. The state will not give him incentives and will be forced to sell his milk as it may. The price will range between 0.7 and 0.9 €.
As a mean value we will charge a price of 0.8 €. Since shops, supermarkets, supermarkets buy big, the price of their domestic milk will not be profitable, but will import milk at 3 kn from a huge foreign supplier, which stores will pay off in the long run. Eventually, it will happen that only part of the total 600L will be sold to small stores individually, according to my estimates it would be about 500L.

So, this cow will earn 400 euros a month.
Until then, he has already spent his time and money on food (except for grass) and cleaning, that's 100 €.
So, that cow has black on white earnings - 300 €.

With these 300 € you can not pay a fair bitch if you do not have a 75-year-old mate with a pussy-pricked hair that you have to bother to grab it for at least a minute, and she exhales from the shock after the first marriage.

You are guilty of murdering an old man, going to the jail condemned for the murder of annihilate, as a mitigating circumstance you will be subject to impunity, you will be two years behind bars, as you return home, your cow is starving.

So I think it is better to pray that the beast cries out to him, he goes to the baustel who and everybody is normal. And the stall will be shot and smoked, not the cow's sister ...

mannnnnn what the flying fuck are u talking about i am so confused.

作者： Croat, 25.11.2017 at 16:26

omg I understand all the rushes now

Pussies, when it comes to foreign languages, Greek is most incomprehensible of all European languages, different alphabet

Γατακια.

Croat big troll

作者： boywind2, 25.11.2017 at 19:01

作者： Oleg, 25.11.2017 at 18:43

Well, that's a stinky cow.
What's his dick?

Let it be good, but just fine cows average 25-30L milk a day. Let's say average 27L.
He has only one cow, so he will lose about 810L (27x30) a month, in ideal conditions. Let's have a liter of domestic milk € 1, also in ideal conditions for the manufacturer).
If we continue with the ideal conditions, we will sell, in stores or individually, all of its 810L milk at a price of 1 € and earn 810 €.
I repeat, in an ideal (read: unrealistic persuasions).

In real terms, the cow will give him 20 liters of milk a day. So, he will monthly 600L of milk. The state will not give him incentives and will be forced to sell his milk as it may. The price will range between 0.7 and 0.9 €.
As a mean value we will charge a price of 0.8 €. Since shops, supermarkets, supermarkets buy big, the price of their domestic milk will not be profitable, but will import milk at 3 kn from a huge foreign supplier, which stores will pay off in the long run. Eventually, it will happen that only part of the total 600L will be sold to small stores individually, according to my estimates it would be about 500L.

So, this cow will earn 400 euros a month.
Until then, he has already spent his time and money on food (except for grass) and cleaning, that's 100 €.
So, that cow has black on white earnings - 300 €.

With these 300 € you can not pay a fair bitch if you do not have a 75-year-old mate with a pussy-pricked hair that you have to bother to grab it for at least a minute, and she exhales from the shock after the first marriage.

You are guilty of murdering an old man, going to the jail condemned for the murder of annihilate, as a mitigating circumstance you will be subject to impunity, you will be two years behind bars, as you return home, your cow is starving.

So I think it is better to pray that the beast cries out to him, he goes to the baustel who and everybody is normal. And the stall will be shot and smoked, not the cow's sister ...

mannnnnn what the flying fuck are u talking about i am so confused.

Is Mauzer actually fat or is this just a meme

作者： Crow, 26.11.2017 at 06:58

Is Mauzer actually fat or is this just a meme

Mystery...

作者： Crow, 26.11.2017 at 06:58

Is Mauzer actually fat or is this just a meme

We are all fat

作者： Crow, 26.11.2017 at 06:58

Is Mauzer actually fat or is this just a meme

Probably the fattest guy on game, according to what I've seen...

PS. Google translator the shittiest translator in universe...

作者： Zephyrusu, 26.11.2017 at 03:32

Pussies, when it comes to foreign languages, Greek is most incomprehensible of all European languages, different alphabet

Γατακια.

Δωντ τχινκ σω ... μαλακα D

作者： Croat, 26.11.2017 at 08:25

PS. Google translator the shittiest translator in universe...

tell us the story in english

作者： Ghostface, 26.11.2017 at 16:47

Δωντ τχινκ σω ... μαλακα D

Thod tchink so?

作者： Ghostface, 27.11.2017 at 11:05

You reading that is the same as me reading your name as Zetiiphieichwhy... and so on

Nope cuz Greek has its own alphabet that can only be read in Greek.

作者： Ghostface, 27.11.2017 at 11:14

all of the letters make a certain sound on their own which can be manipulated to make words of another language. Its the same with almost all the alphabets.
We can communicate with the same language on different alphabets and it will be comprehensible to a big degree.Nothing special here once you know the sounds of the letters.

well the sounds of the letters don't make out the "don't think so" sound...

作者： boywind2, 26.11.2017 at 20:31

作者： Croat, 26.11.2017 at 08:25

PS. Google translator the shittiest translator in universe...

tell us the story in english

its not a story its him and pavle debating cows and economy and profit

作者： Ghostface, 27.11.2017 at 11:23

not 100% the same sound as in english , since its the greek alphabet its adjusted for the greek language , but you did understand it like i intended to write it didn't you
If i actually knew greek we could talk both in the latin and greek alphabet , no ? or when us slavs talk in both cyrllic and latin

Actually no. Some Greek words are impossible to write with the Latin alphabet. For example, in the word "other", think of how the "th" sounds. Now, if I write a word with a "th", it won't always sound like that, because sometimes it sounds the same as in "Theory". In Greek, there are seperate letters for the two sounds. Infact, all Greek words that are Latinised have replaced the letter that sounds like "th" in "other" with D, eventhough the sounds are completely different. I'm not even getting into the E fuckup which is sometimes like in "Electricity" and sometimes like in "illegal". In Greek, all letters have one way to be pronounced, except for some letter combinations, but even then certain combinations always make the same sound. Basically the English language is a fuckup no offense to English people.

Time to pick Italy

Who cares about greek alphabet smh

Bump cos funny